I have made a list of all of Ethan’s milestones to take to his appointments with us as I know questions about his development are going to be asked and I didn’t want to forget something that they might think is quite important.
I must admit I have been putting off doing this partly because I have been avoiding looking at the old videos and photos of Ethan for a while now as I feel like I am picking him to pieces and partly because it makes me feel like I’m a bad mother.
Why do I feel like a bad mother? I’m angry at myself for not asking the doctors more questions about why Ethan sat up so late and why didn’t he put anything in his mouth etc. Hindsight is is a marvellous thing and I know now that Ethan was showing some red flags at his one year check and I’m angry that the health visitor never spotted them and they should have been spotted by her for a referral at least. I also know that they couldn’t have started Ethan’s observations until now and ignorance is bliss so I suppose everything does happen for a reason.
I actually feel a lot better after looking at the photos and videos of Ethan as a baby, they show him happy and healthy and he has an amazing laugh that can brighten any ones day.