Blog Everyday August – Day 25 – Things You Should Know About Me

I have been thinking about what to write in this post for quite a while, it’s not that I don’t know myself that well, it’s the fact that since we have been aware of Ethan’s autism I am learning so much more about myself. Let’s just say it has been, and still is, a very interesting journey. 

So what are the things you should know about me?

Lets start with the obvious, I love all things Disney, but that isn’t a big secret! I don’t know where my Disney fixation come from. I grew up watching musicals so I think it’s only natural that I would have watched Disney movies. I remember being taken to see Disney on Ice when I was quite young, I think it was Donald Duck’s birthday, so that may have started the Disney bug. I remember going to the cinema when I was very young to see The Little Mermaid and my brother buying me my very first video’s, Sleeping Beauty and Robin Hood. I think I fell in love with the magic of it all, being whisked off to a place where any dream can come true. It’s a lovely place to escape too. 

This of course turned into wanting to visit Walt Disney World, something I bugged my mum about for years. You used to be able to order holiday planning videos when I was growing up, and I used to get them every year to drop subtle hints! I remember when they were debating locations for the new, as it was then called, Euro Disney. I wanted them to pick London, it would have meant that I would have lived thirty minutes from the proposed site, I would have been able to apply to be a cast member. My life would have been totally different! 

I love to plan. Some have even said I’m a little bit of a control freak, but I can’t help it. I love to have something to look forward to and so I therefore love to plan. Having to give up work has made this a bit harder as you really need to have spare cash to plan days out, its now going to take me longer to do all the things I want to do on the wish lists I create for us. 

I’m having to learn how to live in the moment. This is a very hard thing for me to do being the planner that I am. Since Ethan’s diagnosis the future is a very scary place for me and it upsets me having to think about it. I used to have a life plan and hundreds of life goals, this is no longer the case. The extent of my planning now is a few odd days here and there and my life goal is that we will hopefully get back to Walt Disney World for our ten year anniversary. I used to always spend weeks planning our days out, now you’re lucky if I look at how to get there and the opening times the day before.   

I’m teetotal, a non-smoker, and I have never taken an illegal substance. It’s not that I have never tried alcohol, it’s just I have never liked anything I have tried. Also as a teenager growing up I used to see my friends getting very drunk, and then becoming very ill. To me that was just a waste of money. The same for smoking, you’re buying something just to burn. Never taking an illegal substance? Well it’s illegal! I was also scared of being the person that took the bad pill and cutting my life short, or getting hooked to something and letting it take over your life. I suppose the deep rooted fear of doing something, be it drinking or drugs, and not being in control. There it is, the control freak that hides in me! 

I have been told that you should never go through life with regrets, and at this point of time I would say that I have a few. One of my regrets includes ending my Ballroom and Latin American lessons. I started these at about the age of eleven and due to being a teenager I gave up on it when I was fourteen. I miss it, and it’s something that would have kept me fit. One day, money and time permitting, I may be able to start these lessons again. 

I wish I was brave enough to be able to pursue my dream of moving to New England. I don’t know why but I have always been fascinated with America, New York was somewhere I always wanted to visit and I’m very grateful to say that I have. I think that may have been on my wish list from growing up watching episodes of Friends every Friday night. New England is an area that has always appealed to me, but not wanting to be too far from my family has always kept me here. I admire anyone who is brave enough to make the break, but I also know I couldn’t have gone through becoming a mum, and everything it has brought with it without the support of my mum. 

Discovering the world of autism and learning about autistic traits, I can now see my autistic traits. I can also see autistic traits in my loved ones, but I also know that everyone has traits. What I thought was ‘normal’ doesn’t exist, but lets be honest if we were all normal the world would be a very boring place!

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