I’m A Liar!

It’s been a rough week in our house, Ethan has had an ear infection and a constant high temperature so we have had quite a few tearful days and worse than normal sleepless nights.

Now I know that I have said that I wouldn’t want to change Ethan in anyway but it’s times like this that if a fairy godmother came knocking on the door I would wish that Ethan was vocal and could talk to us. 

At times this is a selfish wish. I see other children the same age, if not younger than Ethan talking to their mothers and expressing their every want and need and it upsets me. I want that connection more than anything in the world. I want Ethan to tell me he’s thirsty, hungry, tired, my list could go on for days!

When I see Ethan in a state crying and clinging to me, desperate to make me aware of what he wants, its that precise moment that I want my wish granted. 

That is why I am a liar because I do want to change Ethan. 

I know that with lots of hard work, persistence and practise we should hopefully be able to communicate with Ethan in the future be it with the use of PECS or Makaton. 

We don’t know what Ethan’s full potential is, he could start talking today, tomorrow or next year. We are also aware that Ethan may never talk but what will be, will be. 

I do know one thing, whenever I’m feeling low or sorry for myself one of Ethan’s fantastic smiles and his amazing giggle can always pick me back up.

I’m likning this post to Post, Comment, Love over at Verily, Victoria Vocalises
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16 thoughts on “I’m A Liar!”

  1. Oh crikey this has made me gulp.I absolutely know what you mean,believe me I do and I could have written this post myself.That feeling of not wanting to change a child coz you love them to the moon and back and you love WHO they are absolutely ‘but’ (yep there is a but)to make life easier for them then I would change things and it makes me cringe to say that,I hope you know what I mean,I think you probably might,lv Jess x
    #pocolo ~ Secs

  2. Bless you Jane, this is such an extremely difficult situation. My nephew, Elliott, has a chromosome imbalance and my sister was told that he would never be able to talk. She always ignored the specialists and did the best she could. When Elliott was much younger it was hard as we communicated with makaton but many times we did not know what he wanted/needed. He is nearly 11 now and it has got so much easier for us to communicate with him. Whilst his speech is still hard, we know him as a person and what his wants/needs are much better. Thank you so much for linking this post up to PoCoLo xx

  3. I totally get you!!! How old is your little boy ethan?? he looks so cute! First time i’ve came across your blog, from #pocolo.
    My 3 yr old also has autism and is non verbal. He progressed a lot when we started him on signalong (similar to makaton). now hes in nursery and they dont use the signs as much as i would like, he is losing it a little bit which is a little frustrating as it made communicating a lot easier! Hopefully starting pecs with mine soon too. I would definitely recommend signing though from my experience with my little boy. before that he didnt really seem to understand that there was any point in communicating, or have the idea of communicating his needs, but signing taught him that and thats a massive step and improvement, so very glad we did that for him!!
    all the best for your little boy, he really looks so cheeky and beautiful 🙂

    anna (intheplayroom blog)

    1. Jane - Our Little Escapades

      Ethan is three this week, thank you for your advise. I tried to find your blog but couldn’t find it :0(. At the moment Ethan thinks PECS means chocolate so we need to work on it a bit more ;0)

  4. themummyscripts.com

    Don’t feel bad at all! There is nothing wrong with wanting to help him when he is crying or in pain. It is the worst thing not knowing how they are feeling. My twin son (2 1/2) has language delay and even though he is making great progress and quite chatty now, there are times when he finds it difficult to communicate his feelings making it hard for me to know what he wants.
    Your little bot is gorgeous by the way, what a beautiful cheeky smile! x

    1. Jane - Our Little Escapades

      Thank you for your kind words, I have followed you on bloglovin so I can keep up with your boys progress x

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