I won’t lie this week has seen its fair share of tears. Both a mixture of happy and sad.
It started on Sunday with Ethan showing me that he really was calling me mummy. I had waited for this moment for so long. It was a word that I thought I might never hear. I really hope this is a word that sticks around.
On Monday I was watching This Morning, and there was a story about a boy with autism being abused in the care home his parents had needed to send him to. They showed the video of the boy being punched in the face as he was getting back into bed. The boy wasn’t that old, possibly ten, and it made me cry.
Ethan’s future is unknown to us, but one thing we do know is we will not be around for his whole life. Will a care home be in his future. I have no idea and it scares me to think about it. The fact that I have to place my trust in a system where this happens makes me sad. As much as I try not to think about this future I couldn’t stop the tears.
Monday night also brought with it a massive meltdown for Ethan. The old iPad crashed, it’s on its last legs to be fair, and Ethan wouldn’t accept changing to the newer iPad. The meltdown brought with it tears that lasted for over an hour. It was very distressing.
Monday really wasn’t a good day. After the meltdown and putting Ethan to bed he woke screaming after about an hour. By his actions we think he must have been in pain, so Calpol was called on. To calm him down I had to lay next to him on his bed. Melatonin was given to Ethan to settle him back down.
As I lay next to him in the dark, squashed into his single bed, giving him bear hugs to get him to sleep my tears come again. My worries of care homes looking after him came flooding back. Thankfully he didn’t notice.
Yesterday tears come from Little E she wasn’t a happy bunny. With flushed red cheeks we can only think it’s her teeth.
Lets hope we have a better week next week.