word of the week

Word Of The Week – Tears

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I won’t lie this week has seen its fair share of tears. Both a mixture of happy and sad.

Tears

It started on Sunday with Ethan showing me that he really was calling me mummy. I had waited for this moment for so long. It was a word that I thought I might never hear. I really hope this is a word that sticks around.

On Monday I was watching This Morning, and there was a story about a boy with autism being abused in the care home his parents had needed to send him to. They showed the video of the boy being punched in the face as he was getting back into bed. The boy wasn’t that old, possibly ten, and it made me cry.

Ethan’s future is unknown to us, but one thing we do know is we will not be around for his whole life. Will a care home be in his future. I have no idea and it scares me to think about it. The fact that I have to place my trust in a system where this happens makes me sad. As much as I try not to think about this future I couldn’t stop the tears.

Monday night also brought with it a massive meltdown for Ethan. The old iPad crashed, it’s on its last legs to be fair, and Ethan wouldn’t accept changing to the newer iPad. The meltdown brought with it tears that lasted for over an hour. It was very distressing.

Monday really wasn’t a good day. After the meltdown and putting Ethan to bed he woke screaming after about an hour. By his actions we think he must have been in pain, so Calpol was called on. To calm him down I had to lay next to him on his bed. Melatonin was given to Ethan to settle him back down.

As I lay next to him in the dark, squashed into his single bed, giving him bear hugs to get him to sleep my tears come again. My worries of care homes looking after him came flooding back. Thankfully he didn’t notice.

Yesterday tears come from Little E she wasn’t a happy bunny. With flushed red cheeks we can only think it’s her teeth.

Lets hope we have a better week next week.

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16 thoughts on “Word Of The Week – Tears”

  1. Oh, so sorry to read this, and you have me in tears now, too! I would have cried watching that footage, too, and that’s without being in your situation. I do hope that Ethan’s been better since Monday and you have less tears this coming week. Oh, and that some teeth make an appearance soon and stop Little E’s misery x Thanks for sharing with #WotW

    1. Jane - Our Little Escapades

      Sorry to make you sad :0( It has got a bit calmer now and I have told myself off for thinking about the future. No teeth yet for Little E, I think they might want to take their time x

  2. Mommy's Little Princesses

    *hugs* it sounds like you have been on an emotional rollecoaster this week. Oh gosh that is so shocking to hear and see what actually goes on in some care homes. As for you being worried about Ethan’s future that is only normal. Xx

    1. Jane - Our Little Escapades

      Thank you. I think the fear is made worse by not knowing his future abilities. But no one knows what the future holds for anyone x

  3. Aww! That is so sweet that Ethan is calling you mummy! Adorable!
    I saw that piece on This Morning….It was truly awful! It must be so hard thinking about yours and Ethan’s future…Sending love and hugs x

    1. Jane - Our Little Escapades

      Thank you. I’m over the moon he has discovered the word mummy. It was horrible to watch, lets hope they can put things in place that stops this kind of treatment in its tracks x

  4. Sending you hugs. I am a mother too and the world is going bonkers lately with bad and scary news and I can only pray that I will be there forever to care and protect my son from all these. But we cant. We can only hope for the best and well hug our son’s when nights are too scary. Again sending you hugs cuz I feel your pain. #wotw

    1. Jane - Our Little Escapades

      Thank you for your kind words. Yes the world is going a bit made at the moment, more things for us all to worry about x

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