This Time Last Year…

This time last year you had your two year check.
This time last year the health visitor noted in your red book that you had good eye contact and was very affectionate towards me, she referred you for speech therapy and a hearing test.
This time last year I did a search on google, I can’t remember what I typed in the search box but every result contained the word AUTISM.
This time last year I thought that autism meant a child standing in the corner of a room, screaming and covering their ears because they couldn’t handle the environment around them.
This time last year, after what felt like hours on the Internet reading about autism, everything suddenly started to become very clear.
This time last year I watched a video of a little boy on you tube and all I could see was you.
This time last year I realised you were showing autistic traits.
This time last year I felt that I dissected your every move and I drove myself insane with it.
This time last year I felt like I was a bad mother for not realising sooner.
This time last year I felt like I had failed you. 
This time last year I was scared, I was worried that the little boy I adored was going to change and be lost forever. 
This time last year I felt so alone. 

A year on and we have received your diagnosis and are starting to get some help. I understand autism more than I did before, and although it still scares me at times, I’m ready to face the challenges it will bring. We have been introduced to the world of special needs, a world that we never even knew existed and we are meeting some amazing people along the way. We are learning to take each day as it comes and still celebrate each milestone you reach no matter how long it takes to get there. Slowly but surly we are learning to communicate with you. You surprise us all the time and make us proud everyday. 

You haven’t changed in anyway, in-fact we understand you more than before. 

Your our little superstar!   

I’m likning this post to Post, Comment, Love over at Verily, Victoria Vocalises

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16 thoughts on “This Time Last Year…”

  1. Deborah Patrick

    Your little guy is just adorable! This is my first time on your blog and the first thing I did when I saw your blog header was “Awww” haha. Such a wee cutie! x

    1. Jane - Our Little Escapades

      Thank you, I’m glad you found us. We have no idea where he gets his looks from… lol

  2. Brought tears to my eyes reading this hun. You have not failed your son, you are doing the best for him and he is very lucky to have a wonderful Mum like you!

    Sending you big virtual hugs.

    Thank you for linking up with The Weekend Blog Hop

    Hope to see you again next weekend

    Laura x x x

    1. Jane - Our Little Escapades

      Thank you, I feel like I’m getting better with understanding Ethan now we are getting help.

  3. This gave me goosebumps. You are doing such a wonderful job and I believe that by writing this blog you are raising awareness and thus helping your son. You are one of the best Mums I ‘virtually’ know and continue to do an amazing job. Thank you for linking to PoCoLo x

    1. Jane - Our Little Escapades

      Thank you for your very kind comments. I’m only doing what every mum does for thier child x


    This is lovely. It sounds as though you are in a more settled place a year on and now you can move forward with the right help. He is such a cutie, just looking at his face makes me smile 🙂

    1. Jane - Our Little Escapades

      Thank you. Yes I feel so much better than this time last year, getting his diagnosis really helped :0)

    1. Jane - Our Little Escapades

      Thank you, yes at times it felt like forever but looking back it was only a year and we are moving forwards which is fantastic x

  5. My partner’s little brother is almost three and the specialists think that he is autistic. He showing all the traits and my mother in law feels the same way you did. She cried her eyes out thinking that he’s not normal and he’s different but we’ve made her see that nothing has changed and he’s still the same little boy she knows and loves. I really enjoyed reading this post. I found you via the Weekend Blog Hop x

    1. Jane - Our Little Escapades

      Thank you. It was a very tough time, I think it’s the lack of knowledge and understanding and also fear. So much better a year on. Perhaps show her this it may help x

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