Autism

Statement Process – My Views

We are at the beginning of the very long road of the statement process for Ethan. I was very naive as I thought that with a diagnosis a statement was automatically issued, this isn’t the case. At the moment we have to fill in a form to say if we agree that Ethan should be considered to be reviewed to start the statement process. 

With our one page form came a booklet called My Views that I thought I had to fill in, so I set myself some time yesterday to do this. As I looked through all the information supplied I realised that this booklet is supposed to be filled in my Ethan. There is even an information booklet advising me how to ask Ethan the questions and get the answers out of him. This would be fine if a, Ethan was at school as lots of the questions are classroom based and b, Ethan could talk. 

I really didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. This is the second form I have had that I feel is a little insensitive. The first one was from his nursery, before Ethan moved up into his new class, asking about him, the question that got me was – My Best Friend Is?! 

I just feel a little insulted, I’m sure these people must have a file on us, telling them our situation. How do they expect me to get this information out of my non-verbal three year old when I can’t even work out if he is hungry etc. Needless to say I will be making some phone calls today. 

In the midst of my little moment of despair I turned to Ethan and ironically asked him the first question “What do you like Ethan?” and he looked right at me, taking his eyes away from the ipad which is an achievement in itself, and hummed iPad! This was followed by a fit of giggles. 

There it was a little moment of magic!

13 Comments

  • Nicola Robson

    I love that he found a way to answer you! It’s so annoying when they only have one ‘generic’ form, isn’t it? You’d think at the very least they would have an option that states ‘tick if your child is unable to provide this information’ or something. Good luck with the calls!

  • Craig Knowles-Smith

    i can’t imagine the torment these kind of questions/questionnaires must bring to you and your family but on the flip side it must give you an immense felling of happiness and warmth when you get unexpected genuine happy answers from Ethan

  • Erika

    Good luck with getting what you need for Ethan, I wish you all the best. I am so pleased that you have those little moments of magic, like the one described to lighten the mood and share with Ethan.

  • Sarah Wheeler

    Good luck completing the statement, most frustrating when someone has designed a form with obvious (but very ill informed) “good” intentions. Afraid I usually end up[ getting bolshy and asking them what they’d do in my situation or telling them bluntly if I don’t do it, it won’t get done. Perhaps (and this is just an idea) you could speak to Ethan and fill the form in having explained you’ve spoken with him and sort of do a collaborative piece with your experiences and views. Any way, hopefully your discussions will go well and, if not, take a cushion to punch.

    The Ipod moment though, is magic.

  • Aedín Collins

    That seems absolutely ludicrous to me-how is a child of 3 expected to fill out forms?Im 32 and I struggle to fill out forms!!!Ethan’s answer is just lovely though and so cute-turning a stressful chore into something magical!x

  • Orli D

    Good luck with the statement process. It is wonderful when in the middle of a moment of despair on our part they do something that just changes everything 🙂 I’ve had a few of those, and it never cease to amaze me how much emotion we can have inside us at that moment.
    It is indeed a magical moment 🙂

  • Tas D

    Ahhh its so lovely how little ones can break the stress we have with something really simple like giggling and showing how happy they are. I hope the statement process gets easier xx

  • Steph Curtis

    I know just what you mean – stupid bits of paper, and why do these people relaly not think before they ask stupid questions?! My personal advice on the statement thing would be to really make sure it says the most amount of support you can get him even though he’s so young, as it becomes more difficult to change and add things (stupidly) as they get older. So push for everything you can now, even if you feel you have no energy. Glad to hear he sounds happy though, and can cheer you up. I find cuddles good too 🙂

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